some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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