This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
