yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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