she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
