if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
