just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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