Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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