thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
