Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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