i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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