Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize