i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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