Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
my poor anus
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
