i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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