My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
