he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
