I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
