Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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