How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
