Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
