you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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