i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize