she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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