i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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