so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
