he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
