Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
