it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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