not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
