The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
