Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
