she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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