Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
