I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
