chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
