How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
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Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
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How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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