i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize