my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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