I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
