i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
