Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
