420 ftw
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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