I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
