im about as happy as oj after his trial
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
