that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
vagina is talking i cant
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
