Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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