Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
