At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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