If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
