tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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