I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Randomize
