In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
