All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is the high leading the old right now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
