is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
