Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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