A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
