I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
