I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
