Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
