fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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