my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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