ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.