the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(