Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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