i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
