I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your shirt... Was in my pants