i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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