i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
