respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize