You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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