living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
